This morning I woke up not wanting to run at all. I had a headache, I slept awful last night, and it was already 7:30 am when I took the dog out for a walk, the point in time I would normally be 30 minutes into my run.
I had every reason to skip it, to just hang out at home and eat breakfast instead. The hubby even suggested skipping (he’s so nice to me!), reminding me that “if you’re going to skip any Saturday, this would be it” (using every excuse in the book, ran a half marathon last week, not on a training schedule, bad nights sleep, headache). But I just couldn’t do it. No matter how crappy I felt, I
couldn’t wouldn’t let myself skip this run.
As I was approaching mile 3, the idea that I wouldn’t let myself skip was still nagging me (in a good way). Why do I feel this way? Why couldn’t I stay home and be lazy on a Saturday morning for once? Why was I pushing myself with no race to train for? And then it hit me. This random thought popped into my head: Tomorrow is Never Guaranteed. It’s only 4 words, but when you honestly think about, it’s so much to take in, it’s so honest. Tomorrow is Never Guaranteed. (Mile 4) I have lived most of my life putting things off, taking things for granted, avoiding the truth about how fleeting life is. My health, especially, has been pushed aside. Not anymore. If tomorrow is never guaranteed, I want to live my life to the fullest, every single day. I don’t care how hokey it sounds. I don’t want to waste a moment, not an instant. If I have the opportunity to better myself, mentally, physically, any way at all, I want to do it. Today.
Our days are numbered. Most of us, me included, like to think we have a say in that number. (Mile 5) I like to think I will make it to at least 50, see my little sister get married, live near the ocean again (and not take it for granted, again), have some kids, see my little sister have kids, maybe even a grandkid or two by then, lots of nieces & nephews, see my parents and in-laws enjoy retirement & enjoy being grandparents, enjoy many years as a stay-at-home-mom, watch my husband blossom into the best doctor imaginable, just live most of my life, and then, you know, what happens, happens. But life doesn’t work that way. God doesn’t give us as many days we want. He determines what we get. He decides how many blessings and trials we have. HE is in charge, no matter if I like it or not. So the whole ‘putting things off until tomorrow’ thing? It’s not an option in my mind anymore. Anything that I can feasibly do today, needs to be done. I want better myself each and every day possible. It doesn’t mean I won’t rest, that I won’t take days off from running. It doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy ‘down time’ with my little family (hubby, pooch) a few times a week. It doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy extra carbs sometimes, or always avoid birthday cake and ice cream like the plague.
What it does mean is that even when I do those things, I need to be focusing on other areas I can improve upon, even if they are as simple as thinking kindly about strangers, giving money to those in need, or writing a text or email to an old friend when I think of them. (Mile 6) Life is short, you’re never guaranteed a day in advance, let alone a good day…so why not strive to make each one as precious and wonderful and amazing as possible?